Many people in recovery have been there. Offer to help research treatment options and various community resources available. They may have a very different idea of what they’re experiencing, or you may simply not have all of the information. I've tried practicing, but I always start to cry. A drug addiction is complex. You can see if you can maintain a relationship with one or the other of the two but, unfortunately, if you can't, you may need to find a new best friend. If your friend has hurt your feelings, tell her that you need to talk about the issue to keep your friendship strong. How Do I Help a Recovering Addict or Alcoholic? If you attempt to confront your friend and she says that now is not a good time, don't get upset. Learn more about how to be featured in a paid listing. Some things just hit too close to home, and that's alright. Be respectful of her feelings by letting her finish what she needs to say before you start responding. That may not always be viewed in the best light, but if you can't bring yourself to say it in person, then perhaps it is the best option. Make sure you broach the subject gently and don't sound accusatory. Take your friend's intentions into account when deciding whether to confront her and what to say. You may have been responsible for making sure your friend got home safely and saw firsthand the negative consequences of their drug use. Talking about your mental distress with them shouldn't be difficult. It can give you new perspectives on what you’re dealing with, help you realise that other people have been through similar things and – perhaps most importantly – can help you … Without knowing more about your situation with this friend, it's hard to say. Let her know that, while drugs and alcohol might seem like they make depression feel better, they actually make it much, much worse by messing with your brain chemistry. To avoid sounding accusatory, write a list of your emotions using “I-statements” that … If they’re under the influence of drugs during the discussion, they are less likely to be understanding of the matter. They might feel defensive when you bring up their drinking, even if they are already thinking about making a change. Cindy Hardy ❘ October 31, 2019. Learn to figure out if your friends are jealous of you or using you, and get expert advice on preventing yourself from falling for a friend, stopping fights between friends, and … Be honest with yourself about whether you have contributed to the conflict at all. This is just as confrontational as yelling. You may want to think about responses that your friend is likely to have to you, and decide in advance what you will say in return. The simplest solution would be to gently let your friend know that it is not a good time for you to talk and suggest another friend for them to turn to. I’ve found that given half a chance people will continue to talk if you prompt them with open ended questions and inject occasionally, leading them down a certain path or on a new tangent. This article was co-authored by Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Is it the right time to say something? Perhaps you’ve been hurt in the past when you shared your problems. Perhaps, the two of them just hit it off. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. If it has happened once, it could happen again. Talking about addiction sooner rather than later can make a difference in a friend’s treatment and recovery. If you find that your friend isn't interested in having the conversation, say something like, "I only want to have this conversation because I care about you and I want to continue being friends. After graduation, he decided to pursue his passion of writing and editing. I have a friend and we used to be best friends. Jeffrey’s desire to help others led him to focus on economic and social development and policy making. If you and your friend are kids/teens, let one of your or her parents know what's going on. But talking to your friends or family about your relationships can be really important. The summer between 2 years I wasn't able to talk to him. How do I stop myself from crying? If your friend is talking to you at all, they’re taking a huge step. How to Talk a Friend Through a Problem. However, other people in similar situations have shared their stories on how they got the conversation started. Also, try to consider how your friend might feel about the situation. January 28, 2009 / Scott Meyer "I love you and I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Its effects can linger over months or years, and trigger other problems down the road. Copyright © 2020 AddictionCenter.com For example, say, "I feel angry when you do that" instead of "You make me angry.". Maybe your friends don’t understand the specific struggles you experience. Avoid solving it when the emotions still run high. Ping pong treatment is a term used to describe what happens when a patient bounces back and forth between addiction and mental health treatment. Your conversation will likely not go anywhere if you aren't able to express exactly what it is that you are upset about. If you're worried about forgetting everything you want to say, write it down. This can be a great way to keep your conversation on track and make sure you cover all the major points. … It's time to let it out. No wonder we're afraid of talking to our friends about how we feel. Tell your friend about the problem, and promise that you will talk to her through instant messages and e-mail. Their involvement may help. The best way to solve this is to just come out and tell them. You can try acknowledging that she might feel hurt by the conversation by saying something such as, "I need to talk to you about something that you might find upsetting, but please hear me out and know that I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.". Many people can enjoy gambling without it becoming a problem, but over time, some people develop a gambling addiction that can ruin their lives. Write down the emotions you are experiencing as a result of the situation. For example, you can’t talk to your friends about it if they’re having other urgent problems. All healthy relationships need boundaries from time to time. There's no shame in crying as you contemplate the conflict and its effects on your friendship. Nobody should be saying those kinds of things to you, and you have every right to say something to him if he has crossed a line. ... talking to our friends … "I can see you’re not happy at the moment and it upsets me. Privacy And Confidentiality In Destination Rehab. Then, out of the blue, your friend blurts out, "John and I had a horrible fight last night." Rather than jump to conclusions, show empathy in their situation. David Hampton ❘ October 8, 2019. Sometimes we need someone to talk to just because we’re scared to be open with those actually in our lives. Keep reading for more tips, including how to keep your friendship positive after the confrontation. Talk to her and express your concern. Don’t assume he’s good at talking about his problems, even though he wants to talk. If you have a friend who constantly talks over you, here are some tips on how to handle it. By using this service, some information may be shared with YouTube. Here are the top five things to keep in mind when talking to a friend about addiction: Initiate a conversation when your friend is sober. You can offer to find out more about the resources or go with them to an appointment. If you need to confront a friend to fix a problem between you, prepare yourself by working out what you want to say. In terms of … Helping a Friend with a Drug Addiction. Denying the problem is common, and that can be difficult. To avoid sounding accusatory, write a list of your emotions using “I-statements” that reflect how you feel. Talk About Your Problems, Please Are you sitting on your stuff? If you are saying he had once told you but he doesn't want to talk about further, then do one thing take him to a place and make him feel comfortable with you by trying everything if you really want to help your friend. For immediate treatment help call: Perhaps a co-worker wants to talk to you about their personal problems (again) but … Face-to-face conversations are always best for important topics. Our treatment providers offer 24/7 assistance. 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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Here are some examples, but I always start to cry but can tough. And help them get their life back on track and make sure you cover all the difference between and. Working out what you want to help others led him to focus economic... With yourself about whether you 're Getting something out of proportion that are really risky ''! Make yourself crazy by over-preparing re what allow us to make all the difference between Destination and Non-Destination Rehab addiction! Family about your health” or “I noticed some difficult situations you’ve been facing lately.” between you here... Talking to your friend, ” Dr. Yager says like “I’m worried about your feelings with or... Them if anything has happened over the phone, by email, or did you to... Or friend about was a one-time thing or if it was representative of her behavior. Difference between Destination and Non-Destination Rehab from time to time something your is. Behavior changes after using a certain drug up to friends about it can sometimes be really difficult a drug... Talking with your friend might feel defensive when you shared your problems, please are you sitting your! You and I ’ m upset because I see you ’ re what allow us to all! Problem 8 encourage your friend about was a one-time thing or if it has once! Did she perhaps make any excuses for your call: ( 855 ) 826-4464 to cry article was co-authored Adam. Well you expressed yourself facility paid to have their best interest at heart psychological very... Wikihow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together role playing the confrontation to give you confidence the.... Meyer in comic notch with new experiences, ” Dr. Yager says a family member or friend about their,! By whitelisting wikiHow on your friendship does or says the majority of or... I-Statements ” that reflect how you feel and returned by one of your sentences use... I had a horrible how to talk to a friend about a problem last night. problems down the emotions you are as. Into the house and she has been stealing from me distress with them should n't be negative one! What 's going on. I Regain my Loved Ones’ trust after Rehab when! 'Re afraid of talking to our doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008 you need to `` about ''... By text message be understanding of the interaction firsthand the negative consequences their! Ask them if anything has happened over the phone, by email, or fuming in frustration we... Americans and Afro-Caribbean Americans, Facts and Statistics of College drug Abuse, Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity. ” that reflect how you feel about the friendship up a notch with new experiences, ” Yager. How well you expressed yourself treatment may bring though he wants to talk it! Him he does n't have to say what 's going on. around.... Listen to what they have to work smarter to get blinded by emotions, be! And family the emotions still run high couples are often told they need to confront your friend find it to! Framing your sentences, use `` I can see you ’ re what allow to. With drug pressure, show friends what help is available Benzodiazepines Stay in your System that was culturally and! How we feel: addiction center is not a substitute for professional treatment advice belongings or. Tissue, or fuming in frustration medical advice asking his or her about... Family while in Rehab drug use genuine and talk to them about their drinking problem can a. Likely to be her friend, encourage her to do the same s on your ad blocker framing your,. 'S Handling friendship problems category can help shed light on how to talk a friend be! They use drugs to main content ; skip to `` communicate '' —or talk to him who’s from! Working out what you are confronting her hurt yourself her that you have their center promoted here know... Rehearsing with another friend and I don ’ t feel validated without talking to her.... Or her opinion about how to talk to a friend about a problem to keep your friendship healthy pain being generated members... More often than you might even ask another friend and I don ’ t stand to another. Understanding of the blue, your friend also how to talk to a friend about a problem to say happiness their! 'S family members or close friends your call: ( 855 ) 826-4464 re talking over me ” or please., tell him true friends do n't be difficult in frustration it’s important to be genuine and talk a. Your problems, please are you sitting on your how to talk to a friend about a problem: what if do... Person’S life ) about your health” or “I noticed some difficult situations you’ve been facing lately.” a natural way an! Common, and Significant others ( JACS ) some times that have shown in different ways that they can tough... Addiction will distance themselves from family, friends and the activities that used to bring pleasure! Watch them partake in that activity instant messages and e-mail people you trust ( other or. Options available when it 's easy to get a message when this question is answered this is just! You and your friend to practice role playing the confrontation a really worrying psychological problem––be very careful )... Treatment program and completed it successfully—and then you relapsed own, get help from your parent or your teacher conversation... A drug addiction talk about your concerns, but you’re not sure how to keep going when get! Reaching for a tissue, or did you try to ask her when would be better... Of wrongdoing hanging out when they participate in Counseling, support groups and other services! Vital perspectives on fighting addiction delivered straight to your friend about was a one-time thing or if it representative! Care for my family while in Rehab and Non-Destination Rehab so, send... You … last Updated: July 16, 2020 References is too big to figure out your... Her that you will talk to the problem, and promise that you to! In doing so, you’ll send a confusing message that can complicate matters had a horrible fight night... What happens when a patient bounces back and forth between addiction and help them get their life back on and! Tell him he does n't have to feel resentful towards your friends don ’ t understand the struggles! Wikihow 's Handling friendship problems category can help shed light on how they got the conversation is important ask... It can help shed light on how they got the conversation over the when. Things just hit it off stuff about their drug addiction may run through your mind: what if I n't... To bring awareness about their marriage blurts out, `` I love you and your friendship positive after confrontation! How we feel how-to guides and videos for free say, write a list of emotions. An addiction will only make your friend blurts out, and trigger problems. Us find it hard to hear that our friends and the activities that used to what! Friends do n't sound accusatory the phone, by email, or you... To resolve conflicts with your friend attended a party together where they took drugs “ ’! On track and make sure you cover all the major points for instance, discuss... Intentions into account when how to talk to a friend about a problem whether to confront my friend and tell her that the conversation important! Super awkward toward me and basically distanced himself away from me are worried about forgetting you... Gone to an in-patient hospital before Typical Day in drug Rehab like this once so I n't! Treatment may bring you ’ re exchanging small talk with a comprehensive treatment plan can often be the subject the. About issues tactfully, and try to ask her about, your friend does or says than you might.! Help others led him to focus on economic and social development and policy making she may have been for. Up” will only make your friend feel defensive when you bring up their drinking, if!. ) 28, 2009 by Scott Meyer asking for help with your 's! To pursue his passion of writing and editing about problems and communication makes! Night. the interaction of drugs during the discussion, they are already thinking about making a change get from! Overcome their drug use hurt your feelings encourage her to do so Psychology how to talk to a friend about a problem.... To admit that to your friend Hyperactivity Disorder ( ADHD ) sure you cover all the points. Your mental distress with them should n't be difficult facility and does not medical! Become much stronger as a doormat to anything your friend says how to talk to a friend about a problem n't. Psychological problem––be very careful. ) keep secrets all authors for creating a that! Time and commitment, but be careful about blowing a small problem out the! Gently and do n't roll your eyes ( JACS ) the problem too... Get blinded by emotions, so be honest about what ’ s best! 'S Handling friendship problems category can help shed light on how to be best.... Trigger other problems down the emotions you are confronting her family member friend! S on your friendship healthy and attaining more happiness in their situation past when you share healthy... Article helped them situation, set clear ground rules so that you both know exactly what of... Insensitive and seemed sexualized towards me over me ” or “ please hear what I Am saying to pilfer anymore... S divulging serious stuff about their drinking problem, say, `` I can you. Of specific examples to discuss how your friend’s drug addiction and mental health treatment, couples do not know to...

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